My fellow net-dwellers I humbly salute you all, and extend my thanks for the multiple mouse-clicks that carried your eyes right through to my brand spanking new column among the “Infinite Critique” community. So without further ado I hereby declare my spot, named with a hint of un-originality “History Bites”, to be as opened as the US/Canada border on a sunny afternoon in June.
The origins of this blog are a bit confusing, especially to myself. The concept came to me during an evening at work where my brains were trying to figure out how on Earth I could think that a fifth Red Bull would manage to keep me awake better than the previous four had. As I swallowed the last warmish drop I experienced an epiphany, which is to say a purple-hazed conversation with God (and I have to say Kevin Smith was pretty close – she looks great, especially after five Red Bulls). So when God had finished explaining to me that I should stop saying that I spoke to God because it isn’t true, she told me that I should help the denizens of the blogosphere to remember where our civilization has been, and where it is therefore going. To do this I should write a daily column about the historical events to have happened for each day, she said, and then ridicule them.
Of course my question towards this appointed task was the same you’re starting to ask yourself in regards to your continued reading of this questionable account: Why? Because I said so wasn’t a good enough answer for me; being offered to witness firsthand how and where Jimmy Hoffa was laid to rest was a much more convincing argument – and motivation. So the “why” of my undertaking this daily column for you all to enjoy is because God is a big darn bully. True story.
As to answer what made me a judicious choice for that column in the eyes of God (she’s pretty clever comes to mind) is the fact that I hold a Bachelor’s degree in History, that I’m a French Canadian which means I can easily laugh at myself (and of course others) since everybody else eventually will, and I’ve been writing fiction and non-fiction (both of which apply to History) for a variety of outlets since High-School. And of course, because I applied for a blogging job toward a very nice gentleman named Ashley Morgan, who runs this whole operation and whom I initially addressed as a woman because, well, er…Let me get back to you on that one after a few more Red Bulls.
Now you know my reasons for being here. When it comes to yours, I can only say this: stick with me for this daily ride, and I promise a 2-minute read worth cracking up your water-cooler gang every single coffee break. It will, to paraphrase the awesome Barney Stinson, be Legen-wait for it…